My Room 101

Although the phrase ‘Room 101’, taken from George Orwell’s 1984, supposedly contained the subject’s worse fear, the popular TV Show has now changed and weakened the phrase – it is now a place where items of extreme annoyance go. Below are some of the little things that never cease to get on my nerves, however trivial and silly they may seem to you.

Useless household items. No matter how pointless an object can be, people seem to buy and/or keep it anyway. Radios that don’t and never will work, unidentified keys that open nothing, cut-out newspaper coupons which expired in 1978 are a few examples. Another prime offender are spare microwave plates. Do you know how often microwave plates brake? Almost never. Not to mention the fact that most microwave plates physically won’t fit in other microwaves. I also found a temporary tattoo in my brother’s room today, it just looked cheap and ridiculous. If you want to make a statement, wear a wacky tie.

Gift vouchers. This one really annoys me. It’s an elaborate age-old scam devised from the evil and greedy minds of high-street shop owners. I have been told by a poster in WH Smiths that their vouchers are the “Perfect birthday or Christmas gift”. If you want to give someone something without making the effort of getting a proper present, just get them some money! They then have the freedom to buy whatever they want! Surely you can understand that there is no logic in trading some perfectly good sum of money for a token which can be traded in at only one shop – it isn’t like you can only buy things there with vouchers! All the gift voucher will do is take up space in the gift-receiver’s wallet or purse, constantly nagging them to find something they want in that shop. Either that or the person will lose it, in which case the shop has gained £10 for selling absolutely nothing. I can understand, however, if relatives of young people want to buy them a universal book token, being safe in the knowledge that their money won’t end up being swapped for some Tesco Value mega-pack marshmallows.

Adverts that have absolutely nothing to do with the product concerned. The first thing I can think of in this section is perfume adverts on TV. They’re completely meaningless. If the main aim of perfume is to make you smell nice, how is a girl dancing around in a stupid dress going to let your target audience know what the perfume smells like? All these adverts achieve is letting the TV-watcher have more time to go to the toilet between programmes.
Yesterday, whilst travelling on the London Underground, I was browsing the over-head posters (yes – I was that bored). It being a while until my stop, I read a short tale about a ‘funny’ incident that occurred to a pianist at a concert. I can’t recite it word for word, but basically the woman was playing a piece whilst at the same time trying to blow a spider off the keys. Hilarious – I know. What was strange was that, at the bottom, there was an logo of Dove deodorant..? What’s the connection between the story and deodorant? Was the musician sweating profusely at the time? If so, the story didn’t mention it. The only possibility I can see is that the advert was there to provoke anger in the reader, which would cause sweating and therefore a need for deodorant.

Microsoft Word Spellchecker. Yep, I was out of ideas and thought of this one whilst writing the essay. No, for the eighth time, I do not want to replace ‘them’ with ‘him or her’, and I shall not consider that fragment for reversing!

Am I suggesting that we rid ourselves of all these things and blast them into oblivion? Of course not. Well, actually yes for gift vouchers, but not for the others. All of those unidentified keys might come in handy one day, and maybe those crazy adverts bring joy to some commuters’ lives. And what if the microwave spontaneously exploded? Then we’d need a spare plate.
Also, to be fair, if it wasn’t for the spellchecker, I’d still be spelling ‘deodorant’ ‘deoderant’.

Exclusive Photograph Of Bluefire!

But, first, some thoughts. At the time of writing, I am browsing Sal's Realm Of Runescape, listening to Anti-Flag, messing around with Paypal, and supposidly revising some French verbs. As if.

Recently, I logged onto RuneScape (I don't play it anymore) because an old friend asked me to hang out. Let's call this player...hmm...Bluefire. We did hang out, he was sad because he was demoted from a powerful position on Sal's Realm (oh, sorry, he 'retired'). He requested I lend him him a valuable item for a while...I did .I found out 2 weeks later Bluefire stole it. Sneaky little asshat. Oh well, I didn't play anyway...but that hat meant quite a lot to me. It goes to show how some of the scumbags of the internet can be sadistic enough to value a few red pixels over friendship. Good luck to them finding any friends in real life! ^______^

Oh, here's Bluefire's pic.
*picture removed. click here to see.

Let's get going...

Officially the first post made be me on Blogspot! CP seems simple, 
shouldn't take too long until I work out how to do this properly.

Oh - and the URL? It's Latin for...well work it out. Changed :-)